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| News may contain some adult language. | Sponsors | |
![]() Advertise cheap: [Click here] Date: 29 Dec 2007 - Author: Kut - Category: Kut & Pasted News - Views: 231
Another hell of a week. I should be drinking myself into a coma, but I'd rather entertain the 10-15 people who like reading late recaps. 10:22:09 PM - Alright! Welcome to another Smackdown Diary! Same cartoonies, same theme song. Big ol' plate of spaghetti and my typin' fingers are well rested. Cole announces a recap show for the year 2007. "Greatest matches" starts with the #5 match. MIB baby! 10:23:26 PM - This was the ONLY PPV that I actually bought and I barely remember this match. Hardly a good thing. Finlay dives over the top to the floor, a rare sight. 10:25:03 PM - Booker pulls out the famous "step ladder" which is immediately used as a weapon. 10:27:02 PM - Back to ladder buildings, lots of cut scenes. Kennedy Kentons on top of his neck... ouch. Hardy hits his Swanton on KK. Orton looks pale and lost, The Hardys fight over the case and I think you remember much of this. 10:28:17 PM - Edge goes spear crazy and gets cut off by Punk who spins the ladder on his neck. 10:29:55 PM - This is where Jeff sets up the sickest bump in recent history. He leg drops Edge off the top and breaks the ladder. That couldn't have not hurt. Commercial. 10:35:52 PM - >>> Back to MIB! Punk & Orton exchange what appear to be punches in slow motion. Orton RKO's Punk. He tries for Booker but gets Book-endeded instead. Finlay bleeds like a stuck pig. So Horny climbs up the ladder instead. Kennedy meets him at the top and Fireman Bombs him! I miss that sick ass spot! 10:38:13 PM - Kennedy hammers Punk with a ladder and make his way up. Kennedy wins! T'was a great match, but it lacked much Shelton stealing the show. 10:40:35 PM - Commercial break complete with breasts! I think I'll fast forward. >>> Is it me or does the Pedigree appear to be the least effective move ---ever? Last man standing with Orton and HHH is #4. 10:42:35 PM - They start off with lots of punching. Pretty much it. Punching, kicks, a few innovative "knee" moves from HHH. But mostly punch after got-damn punch. 10:43:25 PM - Punch. 10:43:32 PM - Punch. 10:43:42 PM - Punch. 10:44:15 PM - Orton breaks up the monotony with a toss into the stairs FROM HELL. Ref counts. 10:45:32 PM - Bob Holly would totally rape Orton for that horrible drop kick. Ref counts. HHH licks Orton's belly and then uses... HIS KNEE! What a nice surprise! 10:46:52 PM - Orton puts HHH on the announcer table OF DOOM so you know this match is done. The announcer table has the special powers needed to end any match. JR's voice turns up and more garglely so you know it's gotten serious. 10:47:44 PM - JR: REACHING DOWN IN HIS SOUL TO GIVE ORTON A SPINE BUSTER!! He literally said that. 10:48:26 PM - HHH smashes Orton in the face with the stairs and we go to the sexy ads. Fast forward time >>> 10:49:39 PM - We're back, An RKO on the chair. HHH bleeds from a small, neat cut on his forehead so obviously the chair "split him open". 10:50:07 PM - For some reason the screen went to black and white. Is this supposed to be more dramatic? 10:51:17 PM - The little logo is still in color so it's not my TV... HHH grabs Orton's leg tossses him outside and does what he's been doing the entire match. Slam Orton's head into things. 10:51:39 PM - Still black and white. I just don't get it. 10:54:05 PM - Monkey flip into the post to reverse a Pedigree. Orton grabs the stairs and gets crotched. HHH slams a chair on Orton's head while it's on the stairs in the little "v". FULL IMPACT!!! 10:55:33 PM - Back to the career ending announcer booth. JR nearly has a heart attack at the carnage! His voice is full of neck fat as he struggles to over act! HHH becomes another statistic of the deadly announcer table of DEATH. Orton wins. 10:55:51 PM - Commercials. 11:04:36 PM - #3 Match includes CENA and HBK. HBK shows his true colors when he "dissed" Cena's handshake. Still think that's a shoot. 11:06:09 PM - I know Flair sucks Cena's nads on a regular basis, but HBK seems to really dislike him. This was actually a pretty lame match. 11:07:07 PM - Cena goes for a pin, HBK kicks out and Cena reminds HBK of how small his pecker is. 11:08:32 PM - There's an extraordinary amount of hugging, nut cupping and rubbing in this match. 11:09:31 PM - Cena repeats his set of 3 moves WITH MORE RUTHLESS *SHAKES* AGRESSION!. 11:10:11 PM - HBK kips up, fans yay, Cena rolls up to his knees. Gets kicked back down. 11:10:44 PM - HBK hits an elbow off the top. Tunes up the band. 11:11:34 PM - Cena growls and dives at HBK and lands on the floor outside. *Yawn* 11:12:24 PM - I had to refill my 5'oclock vodka. ...It's been one of those weeks. 11:12:44 PM - More hugging and rolling around. 11:15:31 PM - U CAN'T SEE ME! 5 knuckle shuffle! Sets up for the FU. Ducks a sweet chin and hits it! HBK kicks out! JR has another bells episode! King's voice hits an alltime high octive that you can't even hear. COMMERCIAL??? 11:18:08 PM - >>> Back to more of the same. Cena climbs up on the top rope and hell apparantly freezes over. 11:19:06 PM - BTW, bettween 10:55 and 11:04 was literally that long of a commercial break. 11:21:47 PM - STF on HBK. Lots of fighting. HBK faints and wakes up. Grabs the ropes. 11:22:21 PM - Chin music blocked, STF blocked Chin music hits! Both men down. 11:22:45 PM - WADDA DAMN MATCH Says King. 11:23:09 PM - The 23rd Sweet Chin gives HBK the win. 11:23:54 PM - Smackdown shows off their fancy kudos for going to Iraq. How noble. 11:25:23 PM - I think "Daughtry" is pretty good. But then I'm not a big rock fan. He reps the troops visit with his song "Feels like tonight." 11:29:23 PM - Mor extra long commercials. 11:31:08 PM - >>> #2 is an elimination match. Hardy, HHH. Rey, Kane. Veeee, Kennedy. 11:32:21 PM - Really not worth recapping. 11:34:34 PM - One hell of a "Doomsday device" Umaga stole... er performed on Rey. 11:35:00 PM - Another commercial break. Awesome. 11:38:29 PM - Back to Jeff killing MVP off. 11:39:20 PM - This 5'o is strong stuff. My spellcheck is going to be working hard tonight. 11:40:02 PM - HHH kills Kenndy and Vee takes him for a walk around the ring. 11:40:42 PM - I wonder how many times COle has said "sickening thud" in his life? 11:41:00 PM - HHH puts out Veee and Finlay goes bat ape shit! 11:44:07 PM - HHH is getting ready to fist Finlay and Imaga intrupputs. 11:45:01 PM - HHH puts out Finny and Umaga goes nut balls! 11:45:52 PM - JEFF WINS UMAGA! HHH HUGS HIM! WHOOPIE! 11:49:05 PM - #1 Match is Batty vs Taker. Another snoooooze fest. 11:50:04 PM - I do admit being amazed at how agile Taker is. 11:50:53 PM - But still, mostly punching and slamming heads into things. 11:53:51 PM - Nobody talks about how defined Taker has gotten in the last year. He's in the best shape of his career. Probably because it sounds gay to do so. 11:55:45 PM - O NO! THE ANNOUNCER TABLE OF DEATH! Someone is going to f'n die now. 11:56:12 PM - Cole literally has a stroke as Taker is driven through the spanish booth. 11:57:31 PM - The guys that owns the Bunny Ranch in Vegas looks like he's in the crowd. 11:58:20 PM - CHOKE SLAM CHOKE SLAM!! Kick out. 11:58:45 PM - SPEAR! 11:59:03 PM - ROLLER COASTER SAYS COLE! BATTY BOMB! KICK OUT! 12:00:10 AM - Taker tombstones and wins! 12:01:11 AM - Flash back to Edge whining about giving up his title and falling in love with Vickie. 12:05:34 AM - Show ends abruptly with Edge's crap. I am so buzzed. Goodnight
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